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Pitcher Heckles
Hey pitch! Why do you keep hitting our bats?
You can fill a closet with all those hangers!
I've seen better curves on a square!
Hey this pitcher is like a Watermelon - everybody gets a seed!
Serve it up snack bar!
This pitcher is getting lit up more times than a joint at a phish concert!
The pitcher is as dirty as the ball he just threw!
This pitcher is dealing more junk than Fred Sanford.
This kid is throwing Slim Jims--straight meat!
Be a hooker and work the corners!
I've seen better pitching in T-ball!
This guy's falling apart like a Wal-Mart Sweater!
I've seen better pitches by a used car salesman!
You couldn't save a Word file!
Call the zoo, he's getting wild!
Flip him over coach he ain't done yet!
You couldn't strike a note!
Ball four do it some more!
One finger means fastball, not one mile an hour!
The harder you throw, the farther they go!
Hey, there's always softball
The pitcher's got nothing on the ball but his hand!
I've seen better curves on a dragstrip!
I've seen better pitches in a bar room!
I've seen better junk in a junkyard!
I've seen better curves on your grandma!
I've seen better windups on a toy!
How about a donation for this walk-a-thon!
Call a search party cause this guy can't find the plate!
I've seen hot dogs with more mustard on them!
He's got about as much control as two rabbits on their first date!
Get a snorkel because he just took you deep!
You couldn't pitch hay!
Pitchout, you'll get the same result!
There is more heat in an Amish home!
Save us some time and just throw it into the gap!
Maybe you're a lefty!
Babe Ruth is dead. Throw strikes!
I've seen better arms on a beanbag chair!
This pitcher is pac-man...walka, walka, walka, walka!
You couldn't throw a party!
You pitch like the plate is high and outside!
First pitch ceremony is over buddy!
He's an equal opportunity pitcher, everyone gets a hit
Get out the L-screen, _______ is throwing BP.
There goes the no-hitter (preferably after a 1st inning hit)
I could walk alongside that pitch!
You might as well have them hitting off a tee!
Come On, I want to be home in time for Felicity!
Home's not moving around is it?
Throw the ball, not the game!
With this guy pitching, the ground crew will have to drag the warning track after the fifth inning!
You may as well let him toss it up and hit it!
You need to learn a new pitch -- it's called a strike!
Someone go out there and put another quarter in the pitcher!
You should have a disclaimer, allow four to six weeks for delivery!
You need a cut-off man for your pitches!
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